Rustyyy

Mannn, it's been a while. I'm losing my groove! I need to get back on track! Pick up the brain waves!

(It would have been nice to have class outside today; it was so beautiful outside.)

Anyway yes, I was not ready for class today. I wasn't ready to do the whole CAK-off and I felt overall kind of awkward and uninspired especially at that moment when the sound died down. I also feel like I can't harness the battle very well, especially since I feel redundant picking up a bow and arrow since that's the only thing I know how to do and haven't quite learned enough (mentally, creatively) to channel the character in other ways.

I liked the exercise/discussion/meet-and-greets we did in the beginning of class, though, especially after reading Rashmi's post about building a community. Yeah, I feel like I am more comfortable in a group if I have had some kind of personal connection with everyone in the class, whether it's sustaining a scene with someone or shaking their hand or sharing a joke. (Side note: I find it difficult to lock eyes with someone across the room when there are more people on one side of the room than the other!) I mean there's a connection between people just sharing in the same experiences in the same class for 3 hours a week, but I feel like that can be so shallow sometimes, especially with such a large group. It's kind of like when it's an off-hour between classes and there are only a few people walking around and then someone you kind of know is walking towards you (the only person walking towards you) and then you're forced to make some kind of connection.

So yeah, I wish we could do the 2-4-perhaps8 grouping until we everyone gets to know everyone. I don't think it's necessarily the best way to connect with every single person because ideally we would do that in interacting with each other theatrically but it's hard when everyone knows someone to go to. It can be too formal and forced, but it can be sincere, too.

Anyway I don't know if I wrote this on my blog before or not but one reason why I was apprehensive in the beginning about taking this class was because I knew or knew of so many people and I felt like the best situation is if no one knew anybody or if everybody knew everyone else. But we're all on different levels here and have to build our own platform, in a way (if only it were that easy!).

Reminder to self: Rewrite goals/objectives when you reach equilibrium again (I should have done it before break... I can't do it now because my self-expections are so much lower now, i.e. "get to where I was before break")

BAH I feel like such a regressive BUM! I need something to do. Apply some pressure, apply myself.

I forgot to mention I (formally) met Kishan.