Something more

[I wrote this at some odd hour last week and forgot to post it!]

I wish we could all visit India and Bali and learn this stuff together intensively together throughout the summer because it would be the most authentic like Francis was going for and I don't want this class to end.

It was interesting what he said about different ways in which to learn something, to learn through oral tradition because that is the traditional way to learn it and the most authentic way to learn it. And then he said something about transforming the mudras? or the caks? or the songs? or something like that and how this material is always giving and then I was thinking about the evolution of an art and how the original is beautiful but the evolved form is as well, and isn't the way in which we learn it, can't that be a form of evolution? I guess it's picking and choosing which things to evolve or modify in order to preserve the natural beauty of the purest art...? Can they even be compared, the way in which something is learned and the product of that learning?

Francis said something about us uniting and being together in mind and spirit and I just remember how it would look if that kind of connection materialized (I imagined a wispy white smoke going between and through all of our centers... I'm pretty sure that image is taken from some book I've read or movie I've watched... the concept of a daemon popped into my head and how the human's and the daemon's souls are connected).

Initially, I was excited about getting in groups and performing something together, and then I was nervous. I was nervous because I didn't know everybody very well and what if our tone together isn't creative enough and what if we don't work together well? But then I got excited again because I thought about the diversity of our backgrounds and personalities and how we all have something unique to contribute to the group and to the way we will express ourselves and the Ramayana and how it will be a neat challenge just to experience that group dynamic, working together.

I think my reluctance to pronounce correctly different languages' accents (especially French, learning Chinese) in a social, English setting is related to my apprehensions with performance and acting. They're the same, in a way... the way you have to transform yourself into something that is external to you and outside of yourself to perfect a certain expression or sound. There is you, and the audience or everybody else. I don't know why I care so much, it's sooo weird. I mean, why SHOULD you be nervous about doing something right or well? Especially if you CAN do it right or well--it's admirable, something accepted and aimed for by those around you. How frustrating, the power and comfort of conformity!

Last Thursday, I met Menar.